EXPLAINING MY THOUGHTS ON LEAVING ACADEMIA
SEE THE THING IS, he said, BIG GIRLS LEAVE MORE SPACE FOR ME TO GRAB AHOLD OF
i’m not your handlebars
SEE THE THING IS, she said, BIG GIRLS ARE BETTER THAN SKINNY ONES BECAUSE MEN DON’T LIKE BONES
other girls are not graveyards
SEE THE THING IS
a baby girl isn’t beautiful because somebody is gonna hold her
i mean we all wanna be loved but i want her to
a baby girl isn’t beautiful because a man’s fingertips can dig
bruises into her hips, she’s beautiful because
she just is
in nature we don’t say a flower is beautiful
when somebody wants to pick it
in fact we say that nature’s beauty is at the height of purity
when it would destroy you to even touch it
SEE THE THING IS
i would rather be an ocean of danger and deep black and
thick mermaid thighs rather than
a body you want to cruise across
i would rather be the night sky and crush ribs with a suffocating sense that we are all small and purposeless
rather than a landscape of freckles someone happens to think
are akin to constellations
i would rather be storms and lightning and a bright sun rising, i
would rather make you quake in your boots than get your heart
i would rather be beautiful like a cold spring stream:
not beautiful because you said so
but beautiful because
i am me.
"I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.
Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?”"
P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”
no one has a crush on me. i am too strong to be crushed
Within three days of becoming engaged, I had already been told that I shouldn’t wear my glasses, because they’re not bridal. I was told my cane wasn’t bridal. I was told my eye… was not bridal. And I realized that if I was going to be “bridal” in their eyes, I was going to have to change who I am. I am proudly disabled.
This photo is giving me LIFE
Mark Williams and Julie Walters behind the scenes of Bill&Fleur’s wedding
This should have just been put in the movie, as mr and mrs weasley probably dance just like this.
Teen Movies: 8tracks Collection
I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80’s movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason.
80s Boombox: 01. The Breakfast Club - Don’t You Forget About Me; Simple Minds | 02. Say Anything - In Your Eyes; Peter Gabriel | 03. Dirty Dancing - Eyes; Eric Carmen | 04. Pretty In Pink - If You Leave; Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark | 05. Some Kind Of Wonderful - She Loves Me; Stephen Duffy | 06. Valley Girl - I Melt With You Modern English | 07. Sixteen Candles - True; Spandau Ballet | 08. Pretty In Pink - Try A Little Tenderness; Otis Redding | 09. Dirty Dancing - The Time Of My Life; Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes | 10. Top Gun - Take My Breath Away; Berlin | 11. Sixteen Candles - If You Were Here; Thompson Twins | 12. Mannequin - Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now; Starship | 13. Some Kind Of Wonderful - Abuse (Dr. Mabuse Remix); Propaganda | 14. Back To The Future - Power of Love; Huey Lewis and the News | 15. Can’t Buy Me Love - All Night; Randy Hall | 16. The Breakfast Club - We Are Not Alone; Karla DeVito | 17. St. Elmo’s Street - Man In Motion; John Parr | 18. Footloose - Footloose; Kenny Loggins | 19. Risky Business - Old Time Rock N Roll; Bob Seger | 20. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off - Twist And Shout; The Beatles | 21. Back To The Future - Johnny B. Goode; Chuck Berry | 22. The Blues Brothers - Shake A Tail Feather; The Blues Brothers feat. Ray Charles | 23. Flashdance - What A Feeling; Irene Cara | 24. Can’t Buy Me Love - Can’t Buy Me Love; The Beatles | 25. Happy Together - Happy Together; The Turtles | 26. Dream A Little Dream - Dream A Little Dream Me; Mel Tormé and Mickey Thomas | 27. Real Genius - Everybody Wants To Rule The World; Tears For Fears | 28. Heathers - Teenage Suicide (Don’t Do It); Big Fun | 29. Weird Science - Weird Science; Oingo Boingo | 30. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off - Oh Yeah; Yello. [LISTEN]
90s Discman: 01. Cruel Intentions - Bittersweet Symphony; The Verve | 02. Romeo + Juliet - Lovefool; The Cardigans. | 03. Armagedon - I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing Aerosmith | 04. Freaks and Geeks - Bad Reputation; Joan Jett and the Blackhearts | 05. She’s All That - Rockafeller; Skank Fatboy Slim | 06. Clueless - Kids In America; The Muffs | 07. Can’t Hardly Wait - I Can’t Get Enough Of You, Baby; Smash Mouth | 08. 10 Things I Hate About You - I Want You To Want Me; Letters To Cleo |09. She’s All That - Kiss Me; Sixpence None The Richer | 10. Cruel Intentions - Colorblind; Counting Crows | 11. Romeo + Juliet - Talk Show Host; Radiohead | 12. Dawson’s Creek - I Don’t Want To Wait; Paula Cole | 13. I Know What You Did Last Summer - Clumsy; Our Lady Peace | 14. Buffy The Vampire Slayer - Buffy Theme; Nerf Herder | 15. Jawbreaker - Yoo Hoo; Imperial Teen | 16. Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead - Draggin’ The Line; Beat Goes Bang | 17. American Pie - Mutt; Blink 182 | 18. Empire Records - Sugarhigh; Coyote Shivers | 19. Drive Me Crazy - Keep On Loving You; The Donnas | 20. Clueless - Alright; Supergrass | 21. Hayley Wagner, Star - Look At Me; Geri Halliwell | 22. Teaching Mrs Tingle - Sorry; Stretch Princess | 23. Wish Upon A Star - Heaven; Moonpools and Caterpillars | 24.10 Things I Hate About You - Can’t Take My Eyes Off You; Heath Ledger | 25. Buffy The Vampire Slayer - Little Heaven; Toad The Wet Sprocket | 26. Empire Records - Til I Hear It From You; Gin Blossoms | 27. Election - This Road I’m Traveling; Mojave 3 | 28. That Thing You Do - That Thing You Do; The Wonders | 29. Titanic - My Heart Will Go On; Celine Dion | 30. Drive Me Crazy - (You Drive Me) Crazy; Britney Spears. [LISTEN]
00s MP3 Player: 01. A Walk To Remember - Someday We’ll Know; Mandy Moore and Jon Foreman | 02. A Cinderella Story - I’ll Be; Edwin McCain | 03. Down To You - Let’s Stay Together; Seal | 04. Juno - Anyone Else But You; The Moldy Peaches | 05. (500) Days Of Summer - She’s Got You High; Mumm Ra | 06. The O.C. - California; Phantom Planet | 07. Veronica Mars - We Used To Be Friends; The Dandy Warhols | 08. Mean Girls - God Is A DJ; P!nk | 09. Legally Blonde - Perfect Day; Hoku | 10. Bring It On - Hey Mickey; B*Witched | 11. The Princess Diaries - Miracles Happen; Myra | 12. Just My Luck - Just My Luck; McFly | 13. She’s The Man - 4Ever; The Veronicas | 14. Freaky Friday - What I Like About You; Lillix | 15. The Perfect Man - I Will Learn To Love Again; Kaci Brown | 16. Wild Child - Let Me Think About It; Ida Corr vs. Fedde Le Grand | 17. Boys and Girls - Can’t Stop The Rock; Apollo 440 | 18. Freaky Friday - Happy Together; Simple Plan | 19. Josie And The Pussycats - Three Small Words; Rachael Leigh Cook, Tara Reid and Rosario Dawson | 20. Save The Last Dance - All Or Nothing; Athena Cage | 21. Whatever It Takes - Charm Attack; Leona Naess | 22. Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen - That Girl; Lindsay Lohan | 23. Lizzie McGuire - What Dreams Are Made Of; Hilary Duff | 24. Raise Your Voice - Someone’s Watching Over Me; Hilary Duff | 25. What A Girl Wants - Long Time Coming; Oliver James | 26. A Walk To Remember - Only Hope; Mandy Moore | 27. Get Over It - Dream Of Me; Kirsten Dunst | 28. The Notebook - I’ll Be Seeing You; Billie Holiday | 29. The Prince and Me - I Hope That I Don’t Fall In Love With You; Marc Cohn | 30. The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants - These Days; Chantal Kreviazuk. [LISTEN]
10s Smartphone: 01. Pitch Perfect - Cups (When I’m Gone) Anna Kendrick | 02. Easy A - Change Of Seasons Sweet Thing | 03. The Fault In Our Stars - Boom Clap; Charli XCX | 04. Veronica Mars - Stick Up; Max | 05. Twilight - Black Hole; Muse | 06. Divergent - Beating Heart; Ellie Goulding | 07. Vampire Academy - Bela Lugosi’s; Dead Chvrches | 08. G.B.F. - Body Work; Morgan Page feat. Tegan & Sara | 09. The First Time - Wait For Me; Motopony | 10. Veronica Mars - Prosthetic Love; Typhoon | 11. Catching Fire - Silhouettes; Of Monsters And Men | 12. The Spectacular Now - Song For Zula; Phosphorescent | 13. Breaking Dawn - Turning Page; Sleeping At Last | 14. The Fault In Our Stars - All Of The Stars; Ed Sheeran | 15. The Hunger Games - Safe & Sound; Taylor Swift and The Civil Wars | 16. Beautiful Creatures - Never Too Late; Thenewno2 | 17. The To Do List - Fade Into You; Mazzy Star | 18. City of Bones - When The Darkness Comes; Colbie Caillat | 19. Vampire Academy - Spiritual; Katy Perry | 20. Divergent - I Need You; M83 | 21. The Bling Ring - All Of The Lights; Kanye West feat. Rihanna, Kid Cudi | 22. Pitch Perfect - Price Tag / Don’t You Forget About Me / Give Me Everything; The Barden Bellas | 23. Dirty Girl - Your Love; The Outfield | 24. The Perks Of Being A Wallflower - Heroes; David Bowie | 25. Easy A - Knock On Wood; Emma Stone | 26. It’s Kind Of A Funny Story - Where Is My Mind; Maxence Cyrin. [LISTEN]
By far the playlist that took me the longest to compile.
cats are squishy cartoon friends that live in your house with you and do rad stunts. if they like you they vibrate at you very loudly. this is somehow a real animal